My first day off from motherhood

A good husband makes a good wife – John Florio

A mom’s first day off leaves her hooked.

I had my first day off from motherhood. I'm hooked and my husband, elated
My first day off from motherhood

I found that I couldn’t sit through a book without checking my phone.

I had to turn off wifi and mobile data in order to focus on reading a couple of chapters.

Have I lost my interest in reading (horror!)?

Have I lost my ability to focus (more horror!)?

Have I lost my mind (I’d suspected that many times before)?

Or am I just a slave to my phone?

Thankfully, I quickly consoled myself, it’s the last as I was able to focus on enjoying reading after I turned off WiFi and mobile data.

The phone is as dangerous as it is useful.

And if we adults can’t control ourselves let alone our children.

Which is why it’s so important to set limits and expectations while telling the truth about phones, even in our own dealings with our phones.

After all, children are the best imitators so we should give them something good to imitate.

This afternoon, I also discovered that I am a victim of momguilt.

As I read I shifted my weight from left butt cheek to the right and back again to keep myself from getting up and leaving to get home to my two year old.

Why did my mind keep drifting back and wonder how my baby was doing?

It’s not like I didn’t leave him with someone I trusted.

My husband, who I had sworn to trust my life with, babysat for me so that I could catch up on me-time.

Although he regularly left stuff lying around the house I’m sure he would remember to take our son with him wherever he went.

It’s horrible, distrusting and I’m only bringing anxiety to my little heart, but that’s what moms are like.

We trust no one else except ourselves (and fellow mothers who are complete strangers in Facebook groups) because we want to make it seem to everyone else that we know everything there is to mothering.

We don’t get along with our Mother in laws because they think they’re right all the time and so do we – in belief systems as distant as two parallel universes.

We may not even agree with our own mothers when it comes to mothering our children for the same reason.

We do such fantastic jobs at being moms to the extent that our children and partners depend on us for every major and minute parenting task, making ourselves dead exhausted in the process.

As our children get older it’s time to learn to let go little by little.

The sooner we start, the more practice we have at letting go, the better we will be at it, the more involved our partners can be, and the better our children will be at dealing with their freedom.

Learning to let go is important for motherhood, our relationships with our partners, the sanity and the future social status of our children.

I shudder when I recall the story of my dad’s colleague (a grown man) who was 45 years old when my dad related the story.

Said grown man’s mom would choose his business attire for him when they went shopping.

A lavender collared shirt with small mushroom prints paired with purple straight cut pants is not a good look for anybody.

Said colleague was also single and still living with mom at 45 years of age.

Back to me. I have since made my day off a weekly fixture.

Not only can I get myself prettied up and catch up with reading and writing, I believe both my son and my husband appreciate me being out of the way.

Besides, absence does makes the heart fonder, doesn’t it?

All the picking up afterwards is worth it, surely.

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